“We know that love makes us vulnerable, but also that we are never as safe and strong as when we are sure we are loved.” – Dr. Sue Johnson
Whether a relationship with your partner is in crisis or is slowly falling apart, when couples make the leap to seek help it’s very common to want to start the healing process right away, often before their first appointment. To help you jump-start this journey and begin looking at your relationship in new ways, I’ve compiled the following list of readings that have brought perspective to and informed my work with couples.
Hold Me Tight - Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Dr. Sue Johnson - Founder, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)
Sue Johnson has taken her extensive research with couples in distress and translated it into a self-help formula that is relatable and poignant. Most couples will recognize themselves in this book and get a sense of their negative cycle that can be reversed with understanding and vulnerability. Many of the concepts and ideas in this book are highly relevant to the work I do with couples, so I often recommend starting this read even before the first session.
How We Love - Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
Milan Yerkovich, M.A. and Kay Yerkovich, M.S., M.F.T.
Milan and Kay Yerkovich have created a way for all of us to have compassion for ourselves and our partners with an exquisite understanding of our relationship styles developed in childhood. When we have a real willingness to know how we survived our most important relationships growing up, we can reach out in a new way to understand and comfort our partner.
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies
Brent Bradley
Even before I met James Furrow at a training in Phoenix I loved this book. Brent Bradley and James Furrow are great at capturing the essence of EFT and its core tasks without a lot of flowery language and clinical jargon. Just straightforward, helpful ways of understanding upset and distance in couples. I wish it weren’t a “Dummies” book, but nonetheless it’s a great tool.
NOT Just Friends - Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. and Jean Coppock Staeheli
For those struggling with how to prevent, define, or recover from the aftermath of an affair, Shirley Glass tells it like it is. She is right on point in navigating all aspects of infidelity, and even what to do when there is disagreement on what constitutes cheating. She challenges the misconception that only bad marriages are at risk for infidelity.